Who is our Equivalent?

[High School Musical]

Last night as I sat back on the couch to watch Game 7 of the NBA Eastern Conference Championship Play-offs, with my glass of Moet et Chandon in one hand and large bowl of Frisps perched on my lap, I couldn’t help but notice a certain inevitability regarding the outcome of the game.

For those of you unaware, the game featured the defending NBA champions led by the sublime LeBron James (once part of a famed triumvirate with Dwayne Wade & Chris Bosh that the Heat formed in 2010 although he now operates on a level far greater than either of the other two), up against the new challenger on the block, the Indiana Pacers. The teams were tied at 3 apiece in their best of 7 series with the winner advancing to meet the Western Conference Champions, the San Antonio Spurs, in the finals. Initially anticipating an epic battle between two teams playing at their pinnacle, my interest started to wane midway through the 2nd quarter. At this point I got angry with myself for even allowing myself to believe that this was going to be anything other than a routine Miami victory. After a keenly contested opening quarter, LeBron and his Miami teammates began to exert their influence on proceedings early in the second quarter and had turned a 2 point deficit into a 15 point cushion by half time. On their home court, there was no way they could let a lead like that slip.

To be honest, I don’t think the outcome of last nights game was ever really in doubt, despite the even split in the previous 6 games, and it appeared to me to be comparable to a Munster Football final featuring Clare and either Cork or Kerry. It got me thinking. If Clare were the Indiana Pacers of the GAA world, who’s Offaly’s equivalent out in the old U….S….of….A. And sure while I was thinking about that, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between many other counties and their US counterparts in all of the ‘Big 4’ sports over there. Anyway, being a fan of all sports, well, most sports……ok, some sports, I decided to compile the following list. If anyone feels that these are inaccurate, feel free to submit a more suitable comparison. Some counties just don’t really have another team to compare to in another sport, so I’ve given my reason for each, just in case there’s some ambiguity regarding my selections. Most of these are a reflection on the last 40 years of competition rather than anything before that, but you can make your own judgement as you read. And by the way, these are only based on football, so hurling didn’t enter my head.

Dublin are the Boston Celtics
Steeped in history. The Dublin/Kerry rivalry just stinks of the Celtics/Lakers rivalry. Like Boston, Dublin don’t have as many championships as their rivals, but these rivalries alone make the GAA and NBA what they are.

Kerry are the Los Angeles Lakers
As previously mentioned, Kerry are the Lakers to Dublins Celtics. A history littered with Championships. Like the Lakers, Kerry have more championships than their rivals. Both are now also dealing with the current consensus that both of these teams in their current guise are on the way down, rapidly.

Meath are the Dallas Cowboys
Loved by their own. Jeered by others. Two teams who love to talk the talk, but have recently struggled to walk the walk. Both teams have had considerable success throughout the last 30 years or so. But it seems like quite a while now since either actually won anything.

Donegal are the Miami Heat
The new kids on the block basically. There to be knocked off their respective perches at the minute. But tell me this, is there anyone that can do it?

Kildare are the Los Angeles Clippers
The wannabee’s, the pretenders. The Clippers have been building a very talented team for the last 3 or 4 seasons but don’t seem to have the necessary qualities to go and win something. Fell apart after being 2-0 up on the Grizzlies a few weeks back. A dead ringer for Kildare.

Cork are the New York Giants / Detroit Red Wings / Pittsburgh Steelers
All of these teams seem to consistently win a championship every so often just to prove to everyody that they’re still hanging around

Derry are the Chicago Bears
1 SuperBowl and 1 All-Ireland each. Both have had very talented teams over the last few decades and consistently rank in the top half of teams in their respective sports. Both could, but not should, have won more.

Clare are the Indiana Pacers (as previously mentioned)
The Pacers have lost numerous conference finals over the last 20 years as Clare have lost a few Munster finals too. You just don’t feel that either team is actually capable of going and winning a conference/provincial title, the freak year of 1992 aside. They’re just always both matched up against a better team and are always likely to encounter this problem.

Mayo are the Boston Red Sox & the Buffalo Bills
The nearly men of the GAA. Mayo have had all the bad luck associated with the Red Sox and are subject to a famed curse that would stop them from winning another championship again. Near misses were the order of the day for both teams, Bostons 1986 loss being of particular lament. The Red Sox have since put their curse of the Bambino to bed, so maybe the two teams are no longer comparable. Luckily for me, there’s a ready-made replacement in the Buffalo Bills, a team who just couldn’t catch a break in terms of winning a championship. Similar to Mayo, they were blown away twice in finals by Dallas (see Kerry for Mayo) but probably should have won somewhere along the way, especially the last-gasp loss to the Giants which reminds me of Meaths late rescue act against the Rhubarbs in 1996.

Tyrone are the New England Patriots
Neither really appeared as a championship contender until the early 2000’s. And once they appeared, theres been no getting rid of them. Both have failed to get over the line in recent years though, despite being consistently a top 5 team. Its hard to believe that its actually 2005 since the Patriots actually last won a SuperBowl. Mickey Harte is the Bill Belichick of the GAA.

Westmeath are the Atlanta Falcons
A long time joke of a team just like Westmeath, Atlanta finally won a conference Championship in 1999. Not long after this, Westmeath started to rise and gradually become a competitive team after some underage glory. Neither has been able to land themselves the big prize yet though.

Cavan are the Green Bay Packers
Similar to Wexford, its been a long time since Cavan were relevant. The Packers were the old kings of the NFL, before the SuperBowl era. Success-wise, they declined throughout the 70’s and 80’s before a resurgence in the late 90’s. Unfortunately for Cavan though, they’ve been unable to replicate the continued success of the Packers over the last few years, although maybe their recent u-21 success will lead to better things shortly.

Down are Oakland Raiders / Montreal Canadiens
A history of great championship winning teams that has had a number of bad years and rely heavily on that history. In Downs defence, they’ve become a force again in recent seasons……unlike the Raiders.

Limerick are the Detroit Lions
When was the last time they won something? Both have had resurgences in the last few years and subsequently have a lot expected of them and then fail to deliver on a massive scale. Also, Limerick, Detroit, similar. Both cities with terrible reputations.

Antrim are the Chicago Cubs
Its been the early 1900’s since either of these tasted much success. And it doesn’t really look like that’ll be changing anytime soon

Galway are any team out of Philadelphia
They have won championships, but appear to lose more than they win. In the last 40 years alone, between the 4 major US sports, the teams of Philadelphia have combined to win 5 championships, but have lost a total of 15. In the last 40 years, Galway have won 2 All-Irelands, but lost 4. On top of this they’ve lost 7 All-Ireland semi-finals and lost another 4 All-Ireland quarter-finals since 2002 where they were provincial champions but then made it no further.

Monaghan are the Golden State Warriors
Both have had success of sorts, the Warriors more so (in their 70’s heyday). Both had a terrible decade in the 90’s and both have recently started to show signs of recovery. Two dark horses that can take on and beat most teams but will never manage to get to the glory of a championship themselves.

Armagh are the Carolina Hurricanes
I couldn’t really figure out anyone else for Armagh. The Hurricanes have one solitary Stanley Cup to their name from sometime in the early 2000’s and like Armagh they’ve hung around as one of the better teams in the NHL for a good 12 or 13 years.

Carlow are the Charlotte Bobcats
They may be new (Charlotte), but they’ve never won anything and look unlikely to win anything for the foreseeable future either. Also, if you put the Bobcats nickname after Carlow, it works just as well as you’re already used to saying it after Charlotte, which sounds similar.

Waterford are the Nashville Predators
Football is the poor relation to hurling in Waterford.
Ice-Hockey is the poor relation to being a redneck in Nashville.
Neither will ever win anything.

Fermanagh are the Minnesota Timberwolves
One good season each, ever! Coincidentally, it was the same year, 2004. Fermamagh lost to Mayo in the All-Ireland Semi Final a few months after the Timberwolves were disposed of by the Detroit Pistons in the Eastern Conference Final.

Roscommon are the Minnesota Vikings
Both have had lots of losses, in semi-finals and Finals over the last 40 years or so. Never seem to be able to get their hands on the biggest prize. To be honest, neither have been good enough, so its not down to bad luck or anything, although the Vikings were the best team in the NFL in 1998 and blew it.

Leix are the New York Jets
Maybe that’s just my own personal hatred being reflected. But the Jets are the team that everybody loves to hate in the NFL right now, although the Cowboys (Meath) might also have proved to be similarly unpopular over the years. Like the Jets, Leix are a team who have had years with great expectancy and always fail to deliver. They might not attract as much hype as the Jets, but I always feel that they’re built up to be a lot better than they actually are.

Wicklow are the Atlanta Hawks (or maybe any team from Cleveland)
The Atlanta Hawks have the longest streak in the NBA without even reaching a Conference Final. Although Wicklows is even longer.
Wicklow could also be comparable to the long streak of misery teams that come out of Cleveland. Not since the Browns in the pre-SuperBowl era has there been a championship won. There’s other similarities between Wicklow and Cleveland too, but I’m afraid I cant mention those for fear of having my post removed from the site. Its happened before.

Longford are the Kansas City Chiefs
Were good in the 60’s, but have practically done nothing since.

Leitrim are the St. Louis Blues
…………….not really quite sure why.

Tipperary are the Toronto Raptors
I don’t know about this one. Tipp remind me slightly of the Raptors as they play in a division (province) with far more illustrious opponents and are constantly living in their shadow. Under the current system, they’ll find it difficult to breakthrough. I also saw a bit of Wayne Gretzky in Declan Browne too, bit of a one man show in his time. Difference being that Gretzky actually won things (4 Stanley Cup for the Edmonton Oilers)……although Tipp did manage that Tommy Murphy Cup success.

Louth are the Cleveland Browns
Basically both of these seem to have a history before history itself began. Both have had an alarming lack of success of any sort on in the last 30 or 40 years. The Browns also had to suffer the indignity of being relocated to Baltimore in 1996. A fate that Louth fans are all too familiar with from when Drogheda Rugby club ceased to exist in 1997 and merged with Delvin to became Boyne Rugby Club.

Wexford are the Toronto Maple Leafs
Wexford hold a special place in GAA folklore for their famed 4 in a row. Sounds similar to the Maple Leafs. Toronto sit second in the roll of honour of Stanley Cup victories, but what have they done for us lately? Not even a Stanley Cup final appearance in over 40 years. At least Wexford gave us Mick Wallace.

Sligo are the Denver Nuggets
A few provincial/conference final defeats to look back upon and nothing much else really.

And last but most definitely not least……Offaly.
Who are we?
I would suggest that the Miami Dolphins are our nearest brethren.
Why?
Based on the last 40 years or so, we’ve both come good in the 70’s and had success at the start of the 80’s. But both have struggled badly through a lot of the 90’s and 2000’s.
We also both wear Green, white and Gold (yes I know Miami have something ridiculously different). Also, this one time in a Snoop Dogg (Lion) video, this guy wore an Offaly jersey, which was set poolside……which totally looks like it could be Miami.
Other than that, I’m at a loss to think of who we’re most like. If anyone has any better suggestions, do share them!

As for Kilkenny, London & New York…..I cant be arsed. You don’t have any equals.

And yes, I do have a lot of time on my hands.

[Kevin]

Thanks for this HSM.

Very entertaining!!!

As for Offaly I'd put a plug in for the San Francisco 49ers. The 49ers won their first Super Bowl in 1981 and their last in 1994 (a total of 5 in that period). They were known for being involved in some of the most dramatic games in NFL history. They had a few good years in the early 70's, but unlike Offaly it did not result in the winning of any big prizes. San Francisco is back eating at the big table now so that would put them ahead of us at the moment. Is it a sign of things to come for us? One can only hope.

Interestingly Bill Walsh (the coach associated with putting SF on the map) had a number of coaching positions, but his only other head coaching job of note was being Head Coach Of Stanford University for just a few seasons (yet another parallel of sorts to the situation with our '82 success).

A little funny bit is that the 49ers are looking to move out of the hellhole known as Candlestick Park to a brand new facility in Santa Clara (about 40 minutes to the south). I digress a bit here because what is in parens does not apply to Offaly per se but (despite the fact that Candlestick is hard to get to and out of and that the neighborhood is dangerous) many are angry that the team is moving so far away and out of the city. They'll be expected to play well where ever...

Anyway...lots of parallels here. Hopefully their winning means we will start doing so also.

As for New England, where we live I hear some say that they are more arrogant than Kerrymen. Have no idea how they compare to Kerrymen, but New England fans do tend to be loud and proud. Was just outside Boston with the outlaws for Thanksgiving. Me and the brother in law went down to the local to watch the Jets play New England. Was a disaster for the Jets. I'm in no hurry to watch the Jets play NE again up there unless they are much better prepared!

That's it for now.

[Phoenix]

Thanks High St. Musical!!

As a fervent fan of the Miami Dolphins I have to say stick with the Dolphins as our "Twin" team. I had Miami in mind from the very beginning of your comparisons as Offaly's best equivalent. I reckon the Dolphins are on an upward curve right now (you heard it here first on www.uibhfhaili.com) so let's hope that the same applies to Offaly in football and hurling. Come on the Faithful (and the Fish)!!

[Bord na Mona man]

Offaly hurlers as the Brooklyn Dodgers.
The Dodgers were uprooted from New York and moved to Los Angeles.
Hurler from Birr to Tellamore.

[The Magpie]

I'll stick to NBA comparisons, because I'm not an NFL fan.

You'd have to say that the Pistons of the late 80s are Meath all-over. Dishing out the "Jordan Rules" and spear-headed by bad-boy Isiah Thomas, there are obvious parallels with Meath's tactics of the era and you can take your pick from a long list of villains.

I think the Clare hurlers of 95 are comparable to the Houston Rockets. Their two franchise wins in 94 & 95 look shockingly like Clare's emergence from nowhere and disappearance since. Hakeem the Dream could be the Jamsie of the time.

With the Dubs and Kerry, it's hard not to look at the Lakers and the Celtics. However, the Celtics have won more NBA championships than the Lakers (who have certainly lost more). Championships aside, there's another interesting similarity here. The Lakers and Celtics of the late 70s/early-mid 80s are widely recognised as saving the NBA and being game-changers. You might be able to make a similar argument for the Dubs and Kerry, with Offaly (76ers) puncturing the dominance somewhere in there.

Still, when you look at those teams, they had stand-out franchise players and I'm not convinced I could pick the same types of characters from the Dubs or Kerry. Bill Russell, Wilt, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Bird & Magic - maybe an unfair comparison, given that these were global superstars.

The Spurs look shockingly like Tyrone. Won their first Championship in the last 10-12 years and have been hovering around since picking up rings. They could yet surprise the Heat too ; )

Finally, to answer your question.

The hurlers first. I'm gonna go all out and say that Offaly are the Chicago Bulls. And I say this for the following reasons:

1) They had some of the most naturally gifted and under-rated players of their generation
2) Their success story is pretty much all recent history (well, last 30 years)
3) They had one individual that could do things nobody else in the game could do. A once in a (long) generation player - read Jordan/Whelehan

And to the footballers, that's harder, but I'm going with the Philly 76ers. 3 Championships, one of which when the NBA was shockingly competitive (83) and a firm place in the game. Also, they learned to lose first (1980), before exacting revenge three years later against the Lakers (read Kerry).